Iraq kitsch

Five years into the war, business is still booming for the producers of cheesy Iraq souvenirs. In addition to kiosks on US bases or at the Baghdad airport, dozens of Web sites have sprung up to hawk Iraqi kitsch.

It should be noted that few Iraqis actually buy the stuff; customers are mainly private security contractors, U.S. soldiers, American government employees and foreign journalists or aid workers.

You can still buy those played-out "Who's your Baghdaddy?" T-shirts or a cheap watch emblazoned with Saddam Hussein's mustachioed face. The "I (heart) Sadr City" bumper stickers are newer. There are also beach towels printed with the English-Arabic message typically found on the back end of a security convoy: "Caution! Stay 100 m back or you will be shot!"

Non-regulation sew-on patches come with all kinds of slogans: "American League Infidel Death Angel," "Al Qaeda Hunting Club," "Holy war? Holy Sh--!" and, of course, "Mission Accomplished." Maybe for Christmas, I'll present my editors with the patch featuring the South Park character Kyle looking glum under the words, "You sent me to Iraq you bastards!" (Dear editors: only joking.)

You can golf in polo shirts from the mythical "Baghdad Country Club" or fight the sun with a baseball cap printed with the insignia of the Iraqi Railroad. On mild autumn days, you can sport a long-sleeve T-shirt that describes the Green Zone as "the ultimate gated community."

In March, the AP published a story about a cardboard shrine dedicated to Chuck Norris at a base in Anbar Province. The makeshift shrine reportedly describes the Hollywood action star as "the only WMD in Iraq" and says Norris "puts the 'laughter' in manslaughter." Countless troops have snapped photos of themselves posing by the shrine. There must be T-shirts out there somewhere as well.

Today, I was standing in line to be searched to enter the Green Zone when the Filipino contractor ahead of me turned around. He was wearing a black T-shirt with the words, "You stay classy, Iraq!" next to the face of Ron Burgundy, the insufferable-yet-endearing anchorman played by Will Ferrell.

I'd never seen that particular design, so when I got back to the hotel, I did a quick online search to see what else was new in the war souvenir industry. The Ron Burgundy T-shirt (with several variations) appeared to be popular. I grabbed the photo above from the blog of an Iraq veteran; I confess I've never personally seen Ron Burgundy stenciled on the side of a Humvee.

One Web site sells a "You stay classy, Iraq" shirt for $18, but with Saddam Hussein's face instead of Will Ferrell's. Here's how the vendor touts it: "This t-shirt reminds us all that this brutal minority dictator may have had a few Shi'ite days, but his final message urged everyone to look on the Sunni side of life."

Comments

[Cairogal]

Oof...I don't know whether to laugh or cry at some of those.

[SP]

S has some Coca-Cola style patches and things that say "Enjoy Baghdad: always free" and a Saddam bobblehead doll. I love those. Apparently the pack of cards with the big Baathist villains was also a big hit.

[ex-Baghdad embassy]

Yeah, the souvenirs are pretty crappy at the FOBs and the IZ. Lots of kitsch, including t-shirts with guns, skulls, camels and "cure for the common jihad" on them.

There's a business opportunity for someone who would design some smarter t-shirts - including Arabic is a big seller, as the "Who's your Baghdaddy?" t-shirts show.

[top firms]

I think there is a good opportunity for me to start my own bussines :)