On the road, after the explosion in the IED Inspection Centre behind our homes this morning, my trip to work – late as usual- was on a longish route; the longer the better. I wasn't in a hurry.
Driving unusually fast, my thoughts were not on the road.
I was thinking that we were lucky this time, neither my children was hurt. Lucky.
BUT NO MORE GLASS!
Although really fed up that our windows were glassless – again, I decide to use transparent nylon sheets instead of glass this time.
NO MORE GLASS!
The sight of those two children cut up, barely alive, cut me to the quick.
They had my daughter's face – no – my son's face … Does it really matter that they did not have their faces?
They were playing in their garden – one still a baby running around bare footed on the lawn with his milk bottle in his hand, his sister chasing him with a big fluffy monster making monster sounds – their world falls apart the moment the IED goes off.
Does it really matter that they did not have my children's faces?
The glass is blown with such force – it is only a fraction of a second – and both are down.
How can one continue to be human, filled with human feelings and not withdraw into that inner place were no hurt can follow??
Driving faster than usual, feeling quite unreal, I feel like testing my humanity against some blast wall – just to see if I'm still human.
Hot tears come to my rescue, but they are not enough. Not enough.
I am just glad you and your family are okay. Don't ever think we don't look in on you from our perches around the world -- and worry and pray.
Posted by: janinsanfran | July 22, 2007 at 11:19 AM
David Enders, author of Baghdad Bulletin, is a New York-based freelance journalist who has spent more than 18 months in Iraq over the past four years. On his latest trip to Iraq he reports on the growing refugee crisis and the effects of this problem on the region.
To read more from Enders's blog, go to http://pulitzercenter.typepad.com/death_of_a_nation/
Posted by: pulitzercenter | July 19, 2007 at 02:58 PM
Using the nylon sounds like a really good idea. It should work like a screen, shouldn't it? Pioneers here used oiled paper before they had glass out here in the wild wild west. Something like that might work for winter if you can't get plastic to put up on the windows to keep out the cold. Stretched plastic works pretty well taped around the window.
I'm glad you and your family are ok. I remember when you couldn't find a glassman the last time this happened.
Posted by: ljm | July 19, 2007 at 01:51 PM
You have the ability to cut through to essential truth. We can live in the hell of knowing that the face of any child is the face of our own. Of any father, our father, of anyone, someone very dear to us. Or we can live unaware of our hell, in the realm of indifference, a hell that causes suffering to others.
Tears help, but are not enough. Having others beside you, perhaps, helps? How I wish I could give you my hand.
Posted by: Laura | July 19, 2007 at 10:46 AM