Last night was the New Year's Eve night, I used to have special night every year, at lest it is special night according to my taste as a Moslem woman. In the last years I used to spend this night with my family at home watch TV, eat cookies and fruit and talk about our wishes for the New Year. This year I tried to start it with extraordinary activity to approve to myself that we will receive a new and different year if God Will so I decided to take my sister and her two children (Haidar 5 years old and Dody 3 years old) on a tour in the city.
I drove the car toward the crowded street to share the celebrated people in Baghdad's streets their celebration. It was wonderful hours fill with fun and laugh and that rare in Iraq these days. The people were dancing and singing with joyful togather. There weren't any differences among them. It is impossible if you want to recognize the Sunni, Shiite, Christian or any other sects. Everybody were waving with Iraqi Flags and glorifying their lovely country Iraq.
But I can't say the fears of terrorist's attacks have totally disappeared from our minds because what we saw through the last two years wasn't easy to forget. Really it was a big tragedy "I wish this tragedy will end soon" that my wishes for the New Year. The shadows of what we saw will still live inside our minds for a long time. One of these shadows visited me at this a special night when a man try to open my car's door to give balloons to my nephews. These balloons terrified me especially when my sister asked me jokingly "is that poisoned gas inside the balloons?" she was laughing.
Then I suddenly turned to Dody to ask him give his balloons.
"No it is mine" Dody replied.
"I know it is yours darling, please. I will buy a new one for you immediately"
At last I convinced Dody and took the balloons to threw it thruogh the window with wondering and disapproval looks from Dody's small eyes that he couldn't understand why I threw his lovely balloons from the window. I couldn't explain to him what we are passing through during the democracy regime that the terrorisrs invented creative way to kill. Really I felt sorry because my mistrusting of those people who tried to delight my nephew and I was suspicious with them. But this is our reality as civilians we should protect ourselves with the only weapons that we have the suspicions.