Fear So Deep

Baghdad is living better days than the last three years but fear and doubt still control many.
Many friends and people that I talk to are still afraid to move throughout Baghdad yet others are traveling to neighborhoods they didn’t visit for the last three years.
Yesterday, a taxi driver agreed to take me to a west Baghdad neighborhood, as we arrived he stopped his car not far away from the main street of the block and told me: "I can't, forgive me"
He explained that he has a family and don’t want to take any risk. I told him I am coming to this neighborhood on daily bases with many drivers but he said he can not trust the situation.
The neighborhood was, and still for many, a fearful place after all fighting against the American troops, Iraqi troops, sectarian killings, crimes and displacement.
I had to step down and to take another taxi.
Doctors, engineers, teachers, drivers and students do not go to many places because of fear remembering the situation in Baghdad is better than the last few years.
It made me think again and again why people don’t trust the new situation but how can people trust the situation enough when blast walls are still surrounding neighborhoods?
When there are more than 260 checkpoints inside Baghdad?
How can people trust the new situation when dozens of main roads, tunnels and bridges are still closed? When military convoys still filling the streets and not allowing tens of cars to approach them or pass them.
I believe people's unconscious mind will not trust the new fragile secure situation enough.
When Iraqis see those who came to offer freedom and democracy are not hiding in the Green Zone maybe then they will start trusting the new situation.
Is the new security situation better because of sending a bad guy behind bars or it’s because of putting all the people and their neighborhoods behind blast walls?
Did those who fled their neighborhoods or were displaced return? When the majority will return, then I will say it is better.
It will be a better situation when officials (all officials) start touring Baghdad with less than 20 soldiers and bodyguards and less than five  military vehicles guarding them by blocking all the roads as they pass by.
Imagine we have a parliament of 275 members, and a cabinet of more than 30 ministers, three members in the presidential council, advisors, provincial councils, governors, heads of municipality, judges, deputy ministers (each ministry has several)…etc, you can do the math.
I will say Baghdad is a better place when it will be better than it was prior to 2003 in terms of security, municipality, electricity, transportation and other fields.
I will say Baghdad is a better place when people's fear is not that deep.

Sorry, I cant Trust You On My Vote

After spending more than five years in the college of art, English Dept. I was lucky to have only three real friends. Nazar,Alaa and Mohanned are my best who know every single detail in my life (even the bad things). Faris is another man who was studying French language and used to be with the group because we all live in the same neighborhood. i know him but he was not really a friend as much as a colleague. our relation was so limited. I was surprised when Alaa told me "Laith, Faris says he misses you and he wants to see you." That was about one month ago and I was like "Ok Alaa but you know I'm always busy and i never get home before six p.m." Few days ago, I was with Nazar. while talking about an issue, he told me that he was invited by Faris to have dinner. Nazar said "I told Alaa that Faris doesn't even care about us and he only wants our votes." I didn't like Faris but now I hate him.

The campaign of the candidates of the coming local provincial elections started. Thousands of pictures and sings with sweet promises like improving the services, providing job opportunities and other sweet dreams that would evaporate when the candidate win a seat in the local council

OMG, Now all of the politicians and all the candidates care about me and my family. They love me. They spend the nights working for my comfort. Yet, I insist on neglecting everything and not going to the election. What an ungrateful man I am. What a bad Iraqi man I'm but there is only one small problem that makes me an ungrateful man. Its the problem of TRUST. I cant trust the candidates any more because those who came with the US forces let me down two times. Now they themselves ask for our votes. Why shall I trust them again!

SORRY OUR HONEST CANDIDATES. I CANT GO TO ANY MORE ELECTION. THE BROKEN TRUST CANT BE RECONSTRUCTED.

Is it the shoe?!

The square in front of the July 14 Bridge in Baghdad is closed by troops several times a day. The square is not far from the Green Zone and in front of the square lie the offices of the president and the head of the biggest parliamentary bloc.

No one ever objected, in the many times that I have been there, sitting in the car waiting for the convoy of X official to pass by, to the closing of the square by the military. We all turn off our cars and sit their and wait.

Today was different.

I couldn't believe my eyes.

Around 12:30 p.m. several vehicles loaded with Iraqi soldiers accompanying two or three buses stopped in mid-square and tried to close it (like every day) but they couldn't. Drivers refused to obey, saying we are tired of closed roads.

The horns of tens of cars were loud. Angry drivers were yelling at soldiers who picked up their rifles trying to stop the cars that refused to stop.

Shots in the air and pointing rifles at vehicles failed, the convoy had to park in another place.

The convoy wanted to park in the middle of the circle because the soldiers wanted to talk and discuss something … imagine.

The drivers wouldn't let them. The military saw, for the first time I think,mass anger for blocking roads.

I have seen this square almost every day for the last four years and nothing like this happened. The soldiers parked their vehicles in a way that allowed civilian cars to pass.

There was news today from Fallujah of students demonstrating,demanding the release of Muntathar al Zaidi,the journalist who threw the shoe at President Bush. The students waved their shoes and threw stones at the American soldiers. Things esclated and soldiers started to shoot, witnesses said. One student was injured.

These incidents and many quotes from ordinary people make me ask, did the reporter, Muntathar cause this?

People have been talking about Muntathar everywhere and at all times for the last two days. For many, he's become an idol and a star to follow.

Shoe Incident

Ammar Mohammed – Admin assistant. (Laughing) "Of course he's a hero! He did what no one has been able to do so far: He gave Bush the, criminal what he deserves. Insulting a man is more severe than killing him. It was sooooo funny – and the moron didn't even get it! But I am glad that it was publicized – it is good  -  protection for Muntathar: now they can't make him "disappear"... Or can they?"   Widad Hameed – retired high school teacher. (Laughing) "Oh my God! It was astounding! I couldn't believe my eyes! I don't know whether I would call him a hero, but he certainly did what no one else has dared to do: He stood up strait and told the whole world his opinion about this shameful occupation. They may hurt him, behind closed doors – they may even kill him – but they can never take back that shoe. In history, Bush's term ends with flying "shoes"."   Muhenned Ismail – engineer. (Laughing) "Muntather's shoes should be put in the museum! Oh my! What a sight! So from now on the Security Council will be prohibiting "shoes" of mass destruction!" (Eyes brimming with tears of laughter)   At the petrol station.   Um Khalid (um = mother of ..) "How many Iraqis did Bush kill in Iraq?? Hundreds of thousands. This shoe is settlement for only one. How many Muntathars do we need to settle our debt with Bush?"   Abu Abdullah and Abu Eseel Abu A: No, it's shameful. To hit a guest with shoes – it is not befitting behavior for a well brought young man. It is not acceptable in our code of ethics. Abu E: Bush – a guest?? Bush is an occupier, not a guest – he deserves no courtesy. Abu A: Muntathar could have made his point in a more civilized way. I don't object to his anger – but shoes.. It's an insult to Maliki, too.. Abu E: So what? Maliki is Bush's puppet. If only Muntathar had thrown the second shoe at him!

Its just not the way

Like any event happens in Iraq, the incident of throwing shoes at the President Bush became the main topic of all the nation. When I arrived the office, the useless discussion was already started. Some of our guys started making jokes about the incident. I decided a long time ago not to get involved in any kind of political discussion with any of my colleagues because I know that every Iraqi believes he or she is completely right and the others should accept his or her point of view more like a verse of Quran that shouldn't be discussed. Yet, I was drown into a discussion.

Some of the guys were happy and they were talking about the bravery of the journalist who threw his shoes at the American president. When I tried to explain my opinion, I was trying to tell the guys that I don't agree with the way the journalist behaved, but I was attacked by them. One of them said "come on Laith, Bush destroyed Iraq". Another said "he deserves more" while a third one said "he is an occupier." I tried to tell to tell they guys that this is an inslut for Maliki. 

As a journalist who believes that his job is to find truth and defend it, I can't blame the journalist for hating the U.S. president because I agree with all the Iraqis (not to politicians of course) that Bush's policy destroyed our country. But we can't just blame the Americans for everything. The majority of the Iraqi officials participated in one way or another in destroying this country, either by not fighting the administration\s corruption or by neglecting their national duties. The last example was lawmakers who went to hajj (pilgrimage) while the discussion about the SOFA was at the top of the agenda. We can't blame the Americans for wasting and stealing our money in what is called the reconstruction projects.

I just wanted to say that the best action to the destruction made by Bush policy is not throw a shoe or to shout because this is an emotional reaction. The right reaction is to be loyal to Iraq and to build it, not to spend the time in tours in Europe and some neighboring countries that export death to Iraq. 

A Relatively Quiet Eid

We had a relatively quiet Eid - until yesterday.

In Kirkuk, a popular restaurant is blown up. 

It really hurts when you think about it this way: A group of ambitious men sit in a brightly lit, luxurious room thinking about how best to use fear to further their agenda - and the answer is right there: KILL, KILL, KILL.

They knew that the restaurant would be packed with families, women and children - But collateral damages are to be expected - after all, it is a war. A vicious war of interests, of politics and supremacy.

The room was a shambles. On the flood was a mass of tortured humanity – those that lived.

Prams and pacifiers; ribbons and toys.

Purses thrown open with make up and perfume bottles strewn everywhere. I can see them with my mind's eye. They look much like what my daughter carries in her purse…My daughter, your daughter…anyone's daughter.

And now we hear that Iraq may need American troops in Iraq for ten years to come - To fight the insurgency.

Or train the troops.

Or to stave off the fear... The fear that we have lived in for nearly six years: Will it be my family next time?? 

It was very nearly a quiet Eid.

We nearly made it through without major incidents.  

 

Going Home

As usual, the work day ended and it is sunset and I am heading back from Baghdad to Fallujah.
I was in a taxi with two other passengers, and we had to wait for one more. The other two men were not going to Fallujah, but to villages along the way. One of them looked upset. I asked him, Are you ok? He answered with tears, "I want this car to start moving. I want to receive the dead bodies of my two brothers."
I couldn’t understand. It took me a few seconds. This man is crying and he cannot afford to tell the driver to move… We asked the driver to move and said we would pay him… His two brothers were soldiers serving in Abu Ghraib and were killed by a sniper. He would have to take them to Basra on his own.
It struck me when he said he lost five brothers, two brothers in the Iraqi-Iranian war and one early this year.
He was sobbing as we drove toward the military camp near Abu Ghraib on our way to Fallujah.
The two passengers arrived at their destinations and it was only me and the driver. We talked about our memories in Basra and how Basra people suffered through the last three decades. The driver told me of the many friends he misses from Basra and how he served in the army in Basra.
It is dark, about 7 p.m. and the speeding car lights passed a young man pointing to us, "Please stop," with his two hands… The driver stopped and drove back and the young man said there is a guard in the nearby factory who fell off the roof and he needs help. The driver told him to hop in. The young man found the night guard accidently as he was trying to pass by to say hello.
We took him to the nearby Jordanian military field hospital, a hospital that helped Fallujah people a lot through the last five years. The doctor told us that they could not help us and we have to take him to the general hospital in Fallujah.
The doctors asked a liaison officer to ask for an ambulance from Fallujah on the radio. The voice from Fallujah told the Jordanian officer if there is a civilian car that can transport the man to Fallujah faster!
We took the man to the hospital; I will skip details of how we managed to enter.
At the hospital, police were in every corner. A policeman was killed that day. It was chaos, loud and weapons were all around.
The ER doctors sent for X-rays for the trembling man. He was cold in a place where no blankets were available… American military arrived and brought even more chaos to the place. One on the radio told guys outside to search every person entering the hospital because one day earlier there were two suicide bombers in Fallujah. What a mess.
Attempts to call the man's relatives failed. We took phone numbers from his cell. After an hour we had to go and search for his house in Fallujah. He gave us his name and his neighborhood and we left him with doctors, who told us he will be fine. The young man who found him and I went to start our search for his family. Luckily the search didn’t take long we asked bunch of guys near a shop and one of them was a relative of the man in the hospital. To my surprise, the man's brother told me "Oh thank you" he looked to another cousin "I will go to the hospital in an hour"
Both of us, the taxi driver and I, told him just take him a blanket and he needs you.
Then I went back home… it wasn’t a day like every day.