Some days there are too many bizarre and entertaining stories to digest.
When you have to decide between doggie DNA and "death to Mickey" stories, it is a fertile day for blogging.
"Well this sucks," writes King Tut. "I leave the realm of the living to roam the underworld for a few thousand years, return to my burial place to enjoy all my worldly possessions, and all of a sudden, everything is gone. Everything. The alabaster chalice, the cobra amulet, that gold vulture thing I've had since I was a baby—all of it, gone. I don't understand how this could have happened. It was all right here. Everything I ever owned. Right f--king here. I definitely remember there was a royal scepter leaning up against the outer sarcophagus, and there were a bunch of crowns and stuff, too. I know I had at least, like, 10 crowns. And—aw, f--k me, they took my pendant with the beetle and monkeys on it. I f--king loved that pendant. It's not even worth anything, but it was still like my favorite thing. Why in the world would someone do something like this? This afterlife is going to suck..."
Check the whole thing it out. It's pretty hilarious.
King Tut goes on a little rant:
"I see my wooden chest is still here," writes the boy king. "Too bad everything that was inside of it is gone. But thank goodness I still have my precious wooden chest. What would I ever do without my painted wooden chest with nothing inside of it? I see my bronze trumpet and golden throne are missing, though. Shocking. That's okay, I'll just entertain myself for the rest of time with this empty wooden chest. Who needs jewels and treasures anyway? No, this is much better. F--king s--t b--tards. I hate this!"
Israel's Doggie DNA-Busters
For those of you who have always bemoaned the lazy/careless dog owners who leave their dog's poo in the park or on the sidewalk, now comes the Israel's doggie poo DNA-Busters.
The Tel Aviv suburb of Petah Tikva has launched a pilot program where they are asking dog owners to help create a voluntary doggie DNA database.
The city workers then plan to patrol the city for errant doggie poo. When errant poo is found, they will scoop it up, check the DNA and potentially fine the owners for not cleaning up after their pet.
At the same time, dog owners who scoop up the poo and place it in special bins could be rewarded with special coupons for dog food and even new doggie toys.
"My goal is to get the residents involved, and tell them that together, we can make our environment clean," Petah Tivka Chief Veterinarian Tika Bar-On told Reuters.
No to doggie poo! (Not to be confused with "Doggy Poo," the animated Korean film about a dog poo that wonders why it was created and goes in search of the meaning of life... Seriously.)
Saudi cleric: Mickey Mouse must die.
A Saudi cleric thinks he has found one of the root causes for the Decline and Fall of Western Civilization: Mickey Mouse.
In an interview on Al Majd television, Sheikh Mohammed Munajid goes off on a tirade against mice, which he calls "repulsive" and "corrupting" creatures. Munajid criticizes the West for turning mice into lovable role models, like Mickey Mouse.
"Mickey Mouse has become an awesome character, even though according to Islamic law, Mickey Mouse should be killed in all cases," Munajid says, according to a translation from MEMRI, which you can watch below.
But the West isn't the only one to turn mice into cuddly creatures on kid shows.
Perhaps Munajid missed the whole controversy last year when Hamas-controlled Al Aqsa Television featured a Mickey Mouse-lookalike on its main children's show.
After a great deal of international controversy, Al Aqsa had the Mickey lookalike killed off -- by an Israeli interrogator.
In reaction to this show and others like it on Al Aqsa, the U.S. Congress, on a vote of 409-1, recently called upon President Bush to declare the Hamas TV station a terrorist entity.
Israeli FastTrak for West Bank settlers
Jewish Israelis living in the West Bank already rely on a military cone of protection from their Palestinian neighbors.
To get to-and-from their homes, Israeli settlers often go through special checkpoints most Palestinians can't use.
Israeli settlers zip through the West Bank on the 443, a highway from which most West Bank Palestinians are barred from driving because of security concerns.
Now, Israel is is setting up a special kind of FastTrak system for settlers so they don't have to wait at checkpoints along with Palestinians.
The Israeli military has equipped 300 cars from the West Bank settlement of Ariel with electronic cards in their windshields. When settlers approach a checkpoint, they punch in a special code so they can zip through special lanes set up for the system.